A little rant

I have often thought that "a new life" was what I needed, but indeed now that I face that very opportunity I dread it. I like the life I live, but perhaps it is necessary that I change a tad. I have been doing pretty much something that I have always wanted to: dedicating my life to training, no school, no work. Yes, when I put it down, it does seem that a change is in place. It is something I love, yet not my dream. In my dream I break the walls of what seems to me to be my plausible reality, creating a new world for me and those around me, not only changing myself. Every change creates a chain of reactions, and so everything changes. 

I guess what I've been trying to say is, why am I dreading the change that I have always wanted to make? To get away from the people that bring me down and don't believe in my potential. I have to focus on my goal, and see this as an opportunity to grow rather that being taken away from the things I love, also because I am going to be with the one that I love the most. I guess I am just afraid, reasonably. 

"Find a happy place" I keep telling myself. I guess I've just been feeling a little "blah" since I am forced to be in bed due to a bad wisdom tooth I removed a couple of days ago... but maybe I can sneak into training tomorrow... hah! Mom would surely find it amusing. I just can't stop counting down the number of days I have left to train! It is driving me mad! And I AM NOT OBSESSED! Damn it. 

Haaaa, feels good to get it all out of my chest like that. Huh. I better go back to what I was doing before I had the urge to spill my anger in words that formed sentences with no specific meaning at all.

Laters!