The happiest day of my life?

Such a happy occasion should not bring me an equal amount of stress and despair, yet it seems inevitable. I should of course be looking forward detailing this most joyous of all events, yet I put out any mention of the event it self, for it seems to frustrate me irrationally instead of pleasing me and enticing me to do more than what I am currently. Yet, planning such event at such a distance, having to look through pages and pages of sites dedicated to it, seeing with my very eyes the tastelessness some people, if I dare not say own, I should say endure, is creeping me out of having such disappointments on my own. About to become dizzy with all the glitter, flowers, photographers, venues, receptions, caterers, I should faint this instant. Yet the love I feel for the one to whom I am getting married, makes me struggle to go on and to at least, look again, once or twice or a million more times, in order to find something accessible, tasteful, elegant and sophisticated, alas I cannot win. The anguish is in such depth I dread the mention of the subject, to a point where I can be barely civil towards who made the remarks, and seeing myself bound to apologize once I have recollected my composure. Why does this most happy of occasions have to have such complications involved? Furthermore, I feel I should settle for what is prompt and rejoice on the single fact that I am getting married to my best friend, and that it is a mere rite of passage which will, under the view of society, allow us to properly start a life together. I must now admit that he is a patient one, surely, for since this planning took place I am in constant frustration and rather desperate mood swings, yet he takes it all with all the tenderness he always has. He wants me to be happy on what is to be the happiest day of my life, and make it exactly what I have always picture, though I have told him it is unlikely because of what I have always dreamed of seems much simpler than all this is becoming, and it is interesting that it is the hardest thing to do where he lives. I just didn't want to settle for something much less than perfect for the most perfect day I should life to date. Scared, disappointed and confused as I am this moment, I shall say no more, and let it be what will.